In my childhood, it took me a long while to get in touch with art. I never knew that artists existed- even though I had them in my family but it wasn't seen as such; artistic abilities were seen as, well, nothing special, really. So much so that it wasn't until I was in my mid to late 20s when I suspected I was an artist, and then I had to get confirmation from an artist I admired, and he gave me the verdict: "you are an artist", he said.
I remember that day like it was yesterday. The nervousness I felt showing him a portfolio I had put together with my private drawings and paintings. Later, when I started listing my art on eBay, I still recall how I was shaking as I prepared my first auction to go up. I remember the artwork, and I remember the exhilatation of the first bid and the many bidding wars I was gifted with. The validation of having my work wanted by many. Until the 2008 financial crash happened. It was so much fun.
But in childhood, when I first saw an artist (and I don't recall when that was), I started to admire quirkiness. I remember wanting to be crazy like these people seemed to me. I have always been a serious child, more so when I grew up some, and the freedom I observed in how artists expressed themselves was always enticing to me.
I am unsure if I have accomplished that yet. I think I'm still shy and self conscious, concerned with judgement from the outer world. But I'm working on it. I'm entering my last act and in that, I aim to play harder.
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(C) 2024 Cris Melo / Melo Earth
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